Bartholomew, Bartholomew,

You are a lizard on the wall.

Bartholomew, Bartholomew,

Oh! Why are you so small?

You do not have a mother,

You do not have a dad.

Is that why you’re so lonely,

So petulant, and so sad?

I see you all day long,

On the ceiling as you cross.

Eating maggots, flies and ants,

Well, isn’t that plain gross?

But before you leave the ceiling,

There’s something I want you to know.

That despite your ugly appearance,

I’ve always loved you so.

I have loved you as much,

As the night loves the day.

I’ve loved you as much,

As the homophobics love the gay.

And when you’re gone, I’ll miss you,

Like Hitler missed the Jews.

And when you’re gone, I’ll miss you,

Like Europe missed the flu!

But when you’re out there visiting,

To Russia, Greece and Rome,

Bartholomew, Bartholomew,

I wish that you never return home.

 

Anushka Das is a student studying at WWA Cossipore English School. She doesn’t like to limit herself and always experiments with new things.